Black Friday is a fucking sickening tradition and I will not mourn the day when the general populace finally sees it for what it is.
Please copy the topics below, erase my answers and put yours in their place, and then post it in your journal! Please elaborate on the questions that would benefit from elaboration. One-word answers seldom help anyone out.
First Name
Joshua. Typical "let's pick a name from the bible that not everyone uses" thing. Unfortunately for my mom, everyone else had the same idea that year.
Age
20. 6 months til 21 encounting. :D
Location
I live in a house by myself in New Port Richey, FL. However, I spend most of my time in Tampa, FL due to school and friends.
Occupation
I'm a full time student, and unemployed by choice, though technically I'm employed as a contractor with the government. However, since I won't actually be doing work for them until this summer at the earliest, I consider myself unemployed.
Partner
I had a girlfriend for like 2 days, until she decided she hadn't gotten over the other guy she liked, and decided that wasn't fair to me, so broke up with me. I'm now pursuing other interests.
Kids
Hahahaha, I'm still a virgin.
Siblings
I have a half-sister I've never met. As a result, I say that I have no siblings.
Pets
I technically have a Rat Terrier, however he's with my mom. I don't have the time to take care of him.
Three to five things going on in my life
1: Bowling. I'm working on improving my bowling skills. My goal is to be on the travel team next semester.
2: I'm actively looking for a girlfriend now. I'm kinda tired of being alone, so I'm pretty much looking very hard for someone.
3: Sleep - I don't get enough of it. I'm nocturnal by nature, and that tends to fuck with my sleep schedule. In fact, yesterday I got up at 6PM, went to bed at 3AM, and then got up at 6:30AM this morning.
4: Grades - I'm having a hard time with grades this semester. I wasn't sure what to expect, so I did poorly on my first run of tests, however, I did really well on the next group. I should be able to pull this semester out with a 3.0 at least, but it's not going to be a piece of cake.
5. I've begun to hang out with my friends a lot more. I can't wait until next year when I'll be moving into the tampa area, because as it is now, an hour drive every morning is a bitch.
Bonus: I'm no longer taking my meds, except my thyroid medication. There have been no real problems in my social life resulting from this. I'm really happy about that.
Parents
My mom's as clingy as ever. If I don't call her at least every 3 days, she'll call me. We've had our arguements too, but that's nothing new. She is one stubborn person, but I really do love her, and wish we got along better. I honestly think it's just a combination of our personalities not matching, and being together for far too long.
My dad's still in Pennsylvania. He's really nice to me, and if I'm ever having problems, he attempts to help. I used to hate my Dad, but I feel like now, I'd get along better than him than I would with my mom. I guess that's because as long as you don't make him really, really angry, he's a very passive person, and easy to get along with. The only real reason he used to get angry is also because of my mom's personality.
Closest friends
I have several groups of friends now. I have people I bowl with, SPC friends, and people I was friends with in High School and their associates. The latter if the three are probably my closest friends. That's not to say the other two groups I'm not close to though.
digg 
facebook 
reddit 
stumbleupon 
Topatoco, the people who handle our shirts and prints and that new messenger bag pictured above, have posted the Christmas shipping deadlines for the various methods of having things shipped to you.
Also, almost any print on the site can be bought as a print, if there's one that you think someone will love, or one that really reminds you of them whether it's flattering or not. Christmas is a time for brutal honesty after all.
-----Email Message-----
Subject: thank you
Frank,
This past Friday night I found myself in a black hole of depression and I didn't know how I was going to make it through the night. Not knowing where to turn and feeling like I couldn't stop. I remembered seeing the Hopeline phone number in the front of your book. I talked with someone there for 2 and a half hours and I truly feel that they saved my life.
Thank you for the book, thank Hopeline for being there, and thank the people that send in their postcards so that others know they are not alone with their secrets.
-Casie (with permission)
PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people
mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard.
-----Email Message-----
The real reason I do want to have kids is that if I do get divorced or my future husband dies, I won't be lonely and I can meet new people through them.
(Secret posted last week) The morning after you hit our 10-year old daughter, we all stood there and watched as a fan asked for your autograph.
-----Email Message-----
I've been clean for years but can't listen to Lou Reed's Heroin because it makes me feel like I've relapsed.
See More Secrets. Follow PostSecret on Twitter.
-----Email Message-----
I actually enjoy sitting in the middle seat on an airplane because I'm so starved for any kind of touch/contact.
The new book is available from bookstores and online.
The new book is available from bookstores and online.
And guitgoignmk internship search is really frustrating :/ I've called there 3 times, gone twice still trying to just talk to the psychologist. I talked to her once before and that's when she told me they do internships...but really is it that hard to call me back and tell me you don't if well, you don't? ;_;.
I'm quitting Gamestop, I'm quitting Gamestop, so I need this internship.
Why is the new Kuro chapter not out yet? ;_;.
Oh right so the whole reason why I'm posting...
- Mood:
nerdy
T_T
- Mood:
depressed
The more I go to my club, the more I can't help but think "Wow Nathan looks really attractive".
For those of you who have my Facebook, look him up on my friends list. He has a pretty decent profile picture.
And if you're wondering who I'm talking about, he's my coworker at Macy's and he's the president of the gaming club.
So I get to see him every week (or twice a week if we're working similar hours that day).
We-he-ellll... Yesterday he was in a flattering shirt and it was bothering me how much it distracted me. ><
Last night, I had more than one dream that had him in it. One was going to visit him in his apartment (though I doubt he has one.. I think he's 18 or 19), and the other dream was me looking for him. I don't really care to go into details about them though (nothing bad happened).
Actually... I don't want to go into too much detail period. I just simply don't feel like it...
But what it all boils down to is that I really need more... physical love. And... I can't get that...
I do want to see Bob this Christmas break but... I'm feeling really pessimistic about it...
Oh and I looked to see if Nathan was single and apparently he isn't. I think he's been dating this girl since April or something. I guess it makes things slightly easier for me now but... Ehh... I don't know...
It’s nearly Thanksgiving again, which for me means reflecting on and being grateful for you, the wonderful people who allow me to make ridiculous things for a living. Thank you all so much! And this year, I would like to extend a particular thanks to two groups who’ve meant a lot to me: bloggers and libraries.
Bloggers are the lifeblood of my business. You folks who mention Wondermark on your blogs, Twitters, LiveJournals, Facebooks, CraniumDumps, or even just email a favorite strip to a friend, are what keep this enterprise growing and running on all cylinders. So here’s my offer:
I will give away ten free copies — not just copies, Artist Editions! — of Clever Tricks to Stave Off Death to folks who blog about Wondermark between now and the end of November.
Stated another way: Blog about Wondermark, send me the link to what you wrote using this handy form, and I’ll enter you in a contest for one of ten free sketched-in copies of my latest book. You can write about anything Wondermark-related — a favorite episode, a particular product I offer, or just the strip in general — and you can enter as many times as you like (as long as each entry is for a separate post, on any platform). I’ll choose and award the winners in the first week of December, and the books will be absolutely free. I’ll pay the shipping, anywhere in the world! And even if you already own the book: a second copy could make a great gift for someone you love.
The second institution I’m indebted to is libraries. The Los Angeles library system has been of tremendous aid to me over the years of Wondermark, and I regularly patronize my local branch for all types of materials. I got super-inspired in a library in Charlotte once, and I’ve even browsed the Library of Congress in Washington for Wondermark-related material!
I know many libraries are chronically under-funded, so here’s my offer for libraries: send me a note explaining a little about your library (or similar institution that could use more books), and I will choose ten to receive a copy of Clever Tricks, absolutely free. I wish I could afford to give away more, but I am pleased to award these ten. One request per institution, please — and I’d like to also ask that the requests come from library staff, or at least from someone acquainted with the library’s donation policy. I don’t really want to send books to someplace that won’t know what it is or why it’s being sent! A staff member is a good point of contact.
All requests — bloggers and libraries — must come through the forms on this page; emailed or other requests will not be considered.
Finally, an opportunity for everyone else: If you would like to buy an extra copy of Clever Tricks, or Beards of our Forefathers, to be awarded to a library — you can do that here. Simply buy the books and write “Library donation” in the Special Instructions box at checkout. I’ll donate these copies to libraries above and beyond the ten I’ll already be sending out. If you’ve been enjoying my comics for free, but don’t necessarily want a book or a shirt or anything for yourself, this is a great way to help out a worthy institution. If you don’t want me to thank you publicly, please also write “Anonymous” in the Special Instructions box.
The deadline for both contests is November 30. Go to it!
*sighs* I think this stupid project is driving me mad. Already I've failed to complete a page this week solely because I've been working on it and nothing but it. I swear, this idiotic story that I've come to hate will be the death of me. -_-
- Mood: depressed
- Mood: depressed
The Cop Who Plays By All The Rules
The night pecked spotty rain against Officer Jack “Bulletproof” Bulletproof’s patrol-car windshield. Through the dappled glass, a Jeep sat idling on the highway shoulder, its blinker still flashing at the black cornfield beyond. In the seat next to Bulletproof, Officer Daytona Follies frowned at the cruiser’s computer. “Looks bad, Jack,” she said, glancing up at the Jeep. “One prior, time served, for petty theft. Could be a runner.”
Bulletproof eased his door handle open, taking in the situation. “Let’s proceed,” he finally said. “With caution.”
Follies nodded. Affixing his cap smartly, Bulletproof stepped out into the sprinkling night, his flashlight tracing a line through the Jeep’s side windows, illuminating a mound of blankets, a couple fast-food bags, a book. When the light reached the driver, Bulletproof tensed — the man was a scarecrow, folded behind the wheel like a coat hanger in a shoebox, his limbs lean and ropy. Still, best to take it by the book. “License and registration,” Bulletproof said, and the man complied.
The license told them nothing they didn’t know, and the tags were in order. Bulletproof handed the cards back to the driver (one Wenslow Ramplewaithe of 418 Oakwood), who squinted in the glare of Bulletproof’s Maglite. “Do you know why I pulled you over?” Bulletproof asked, careful not to let his tone betray any irritation. The man was a human being, after all, and it wasn’t his fault it had been a long shift for the cops.
“Dunno,” Ramplewaithe mumbled. Then his eyes lit — “Oh, if it’s that headlight, I’ve got a fix-it ticket already. I’m planning on getting it sorted tomorrow morning first thing.”
“You were going twenty-five miles per hour,” Bulletproof said. “On the highway.”
“The rain makes me nervous,” Ramplewaithe said, as Bulletproof watched a bead of sweat roll down his jawbone and disappear into his collar.
Bulletproof narrowed his eyes. “Step out of the car, please,” he said, as nicely as he could.
Ramplewaithe’s gaze darted from Bulletproof to Follies, standing by the passenger’s door with a hand on her gun, and back. Bulletproof could almost see the man’s brain tick through his possible options, and settle on the only logical one. He pried himself out of the Jeep.
Follies rounded the front of the car and leaned close to Bulletproof. “I don’t like this, Jack,” she murmured. “I say we take him downtown.”
“He hasn’t done anything,” Bulletproof whispered back. “He’s innocent until proven guilty.”
Follies spat on the ground. “He’s nervous,” she sneered. “Something’s up. I say we torture him. He must have done something.”
“Now, now,” Bulletproof said. “Let’s see where this goes.”
Ramplewaithe took off running, headed for the inky darkness of the cornfield.
“I got him, Jack!” Follies shouted, bolting after the man and whipping her Taser from its holster. “He’s coming down!”
“No!” Bulletproof called out, lunging into a sprint and grabbing Follies’ extended arm. The Taser fired into the ground, its prongs bouncing harmlessly against asphalt. Bulletproof reached the edge of the road as Ramplewaithe began sliding down the incline toward the field.
“Jack, are you crazy?” Follies cried, running up behind Bulletproof while struggling to fit another cartridge into her Taser. “I had him!”
“He wasn’t threatening lethal force,” Bulletproof said, squinting at the retreating form, gauging the distance. He plucked his baton from his belt and weighed it gently in his hand. “At his body weight, the shock might have killed him.”
“Well, if you’re not going to shoot him, you might as well run after him!” Follies shrieked, sliding partway down the incline, stumbling for her footing on the muddy slope. Bulletproof cocked his head into the wind.
Ramplewaithe reached the bottom of the slope, only a few short yards from the swaying, shadowed cornstalks. Bulletproof counted to three, hurled the baton, and pegged Ramplewaithe right between the shoulder blades. The man crumpled like a bag of baseball bats.
Follies slid to a stop. “Nice shot,” she said, and whistled appreciatively.
“The Department mandates we attend elective extracurricular training seminars twice a month,” Bulletproof shrugged. “I’ve been to the Baton Hurling one thirty times. It’s my favorite.”
Follies reached Ramplewaithe and turned the man onto his back. “Now listen here, you lowlife,” she growled. “Do we need to get rough here? I can dance all night.”
“Go to heck, copper,” Ramplewaithe spat.
“No! Ramplewaithe!” Bulletproof shouted, making his way down the slippery incline. “You have the right to remain silent! Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law! You have the right to an attorney! If you cannot afford one, one will be provided!”
Ramplewaithe parted his cracked lips to curse, then closed them again. “You’re right,” he breathed. “It’s over. Lissen. In the Jeep. Behind the back seat. Fifteen, thirty-two, ten.”
“Jack!” Follies cried. “Jeep! Back seat!”
“I’m not leaving your sight until he’s handcuffed,” Bulletproof said, reaching the bottom of the slope, picking up his baton and sliding it back into his belt. Ramplewaithe offered up no resistance, considering how easily he could be overpowered by the both of them.
They dragged the cuffed Ramplewaithe back and set him stiffly into the patrol car, Bulletproof directing the man’s head safely past the doorframe. The perp contained, they turned to the Jeep.
Behind the back seat, beneath all the blankets, was a safe. “Fifteen, thirty-two, ten,” Follies said. Bulletproof quickly turned the dial.
Inside was little Sarah Waterbury, reported missing the day before and the subject of a statewide Amber Alert. Gasping for air, she tumbled into the Jeep’s cargo compartment on hands and knees. Follies scooped up the girl, who seemed to be all right, save for a scare.
“If I’d Tased him, and he’d died or passed out — I don’t know what we would have done, Jack,” Follies said sheepishly. “This little girl could have died in there.”
“Ah, ah — save it for the statement,” Bulletproof smiled, reaching for his radio to call in the paramedics. “We’ll be up all night doing paperwork for this one.”
Profile
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
crystal_mercury- Crystal
- Mercury Ice
Page Summary
- superbus : Writer's Block: It's Never Too Early... [+0]
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/syndicated.gif)
wondermark : #573; One Too Few [+0] - butter_building : Writer's Block: It's Never Too Early... [+0]
- untoward : Maybe tomorrow I'll want to settle down. [+2]
- otosaretatenshi : (no subject) [+4]
- softerworldfeed :
A Softer World: 503 [+4]
- untoward : Home for the Hollerdays [+2]
- butter_building : (no subject) [+1]
- postsecret : HopeLine [+51]
- postsecret : Sunday Secrets [+137]
- sashide : *falls off earth* [+7]
- butter_building : (no subject) [+0]
- dmajohnson : Concerning Aquaria [+2]
- softerworldfeed :
A Softer World: 502 [+11]
- 2_blank_spaces : (no subject) [+3]
- wondermark : #572; In which it Moves even now [+4]
- wondermark : The Thanksgiving Project: for bloggers & libraries [+0]
- dmajohnson : *Groan* Not Another Progress Report, Dale. You're Ruining My Friends Page! [+2]
- dmajohnson : Do Want [+7]
- wondermark : The Adventures of Jack Bulletproof [+6]